Dilemma of life

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Sometime I just hate myself for giving importance to someone so much that they just start to treat meanly. Its not that I don't want to be in love, I want to have that hand to hold when it's cold. A feeling of comfort and company.The relieved that someone will always be there for you no matter what. A soul to share all your dark secret with. A company for all the adventure of life. Sometimes I do feel lonely and I kept longing for person company. Many a time I nearly fell for one or other. Its true but I don't want to rush this things call love. I can't take it lightly and won't take it lightly. Its a not a game that two people play it's a commitment a lifelong one. Why should I rush it for lifetime and spoil my life.

I want it all but am afraid of feeling so high then feel so low again. I don't want to get emotionally attached so much. Coz when I love I love so deep that's when I fall I fall so deep. The one person become a world for me. And am scare of losing myself all over again. I don't want myself to be a stranger to my own self after the heartbreak.
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P.s: I did and again had to pick myself up from the start

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